How to Deal with Parental Advice

Being a mother, especially a first time mother, you get given 'advice' left, right and centre. Even from complete strangers. I've had a sales assistant in Hobbycraft tell me how to cut my child's nails.

*I know, right?* Monica Geller style

And, have you noticed everyone has a cure/remedy/theory about EVERYTHING baby related?

'I did ______ and mine turned out alright...' 
'My mother taught me that...' 
'Oh darling, I wouldn't do that if I were you...'

You get the picture. It is seriously a pet peeve of mine. Not because I don't like advice. I love advice. Just not things said in a patronising way. And, I'm very conscious of passing information on. I think that's why I love blogging. I write what I think/feel and if you take my thoughts on board - that's great, if not, it doesn't matter. The world is still revolving.

So, how do you deal with all these advices thrown at you?

1. Smile sweetly with a strong concentrated face, nod intently and actually take it on board because it actually sounds logical.

2. Smile sweetly and say you researched in the library, on the internet and spoken to your own mother and you feel xyz will work best but thank them for their concern.

3. Smile sweetly, nodding your head and just let the 'advice' go in one ear and out the other.

4. Scream at them that you will ask for advice if you need it.

5. Imagine in your head your whacking said person with a rubber hammer as they share their advice, in the meantime actually nodding your head to them.

6. Plan your dinner for the evening in your head.

Number two is the usual go-to for me, but number five is definitely a favourite.

I usually opt for number two because some people really make you feel inadequate. You just have to show them you have actually done something about it. It's a shame, women have made new mums feel like that when they're most likely unaware they are offending. Of course, hormones flying high, on the brink of self-destruction from the first bitter taste of sleepless nights, all take a play into the emotions of how you react to said 'advice'.

Following this, how are you actually supposed to learn yourself, if you continuously have different methods thrown at you?

Prior to giving birth, I was working at the NHS and my colleague, an ex-Matron, gave me the best advice:

Use your common sense. He will love you regardless as all he knows is love. If he's unhurt, you're doing a good job. There is no right or wrong. Just common sense. 

And, to this day, that's what goes through my head because there are hundred ways to do something, but at the end of it, it is all down to common sense and mother's instincts. As, you are the only one who knows your baby the best. The great thing about being a new mummy, both you and your baby are learning about one another. So, take each day as it comes. The sleepless nights will become bearable, I promise you. And, just take each advice with a smile - it's entirely your decision whether you take it on board or not.

And, just remember, this is your journey with your little one. If they're smiling, they're happy which means you're doing something right. So, dust your shoulders to the patronising advice. Do what feels right as motherly instincts is actually a real thing!

And, may this journey be a blessed one, insha'Allah.

XO

Mini Mango - One Day Old <3

Breastfeeding from a Purely Selfish Perspective

Breastfeeding. It has it pros and cons for sure, but the pros - from a completely subjective and selfish view, are immense. For these fifteen reasons alone, it is worth destroying your nipples for:

1. You can eat an entire extra 500 calories a day and you will not gain weight - based on the fact, it is nutritious calories and not empty calories, like a chocolate bar or packet of crisps.

*adds an extra portion of spaghetti bolognese to her bowl* 
Make sure you ignore the raised eyebrow look from your SIL, too.

2. You can be anti-social at family gatherings because it's time for a feed - and, no MIL, if you're reading this, I obviously do not mean your family gatherings...

3. You are at a lesser risk of breast and ovarian cancer. No brainer.

4. You can be lazy with breastfeeding. You do not have to worry about sterilisation kits, carrying so much around with you when you're out and about, the milk is at the perfect temperature so you don't have to fuss over the kettle to boil water and heat the milk up, the night feeds are easy - one whinge, pull your top up and just plonk them on your breast and they're quiet. And, as long as you're not drunk/taking drugs it wouldn't be the worst thing in the world if you dozed off slightly!

5. You can breastfeed lying down. Self-explanatory.

6. You save money by not having to buy bottles, teats, sterilising kits, sterilising solution, formula, cleaning products, etc. So, buy that handbag you've been eyeing up and don't feel guilty - you earned it.

7. You delay the return of your periods. Another no brainer.

8. You can hog your baby from the other family members, as they prefer your smell. Muhahaha.

9. You're less stressed if you're nursing as it releases that hormone the midwives bang on about at ante-natal classes, which is oxytocin. The hormone with the 'mmm' factor which is proven to promote relaxation and nurturing.

10. Also, due to the release of oxytocin, it means your uterus returning back to it's normal size is faster and the post-partum bleeding stops sooner. I mean, really, I think the nappies, sorry, maternity pads we have to wear is ridiculous.

11. You will win all the arguments at home. Guaranteed. Because he isn't providing for the baby like you can. Such an empowering feeling, being a woman and your baby solely relying on your milk.

12. You can sit down and relax whilst breastfeeding, giving you a beautiful opportunity to bond with your baby. It also means you can have a cup of tea, read a book, or even write a blogpost... ;)

13. You have an excuse to buy a whole new wardrobe in the attempts to make breastfeeding easier by buying front zip blouses, buttoned shirts and waterfall cardigans to discreetly hide your baby whilst nursing. Again, don't feel guilty!

14. You'll have less sick days to claim at work as statistically speaking, your baby will be healthier than formula-fed babies. Wahey - that's more money towards that handbag!

15. You'll have a much more pleasant experience changing your baby's nappy if they're breastfed over a formula-fed baby. Trust me. Stinky nappies ahoy for formula-fed babies!

Is it bad that I actually thought about these benefits? Because, they truly are beneficial! However, I must state, the main reason I breastfeed is for the enormous number of benefits that my baby is having and the feeling of accomplishment when I can squeeze a chubby thigh!

This post is meant to be taken lightheartedly, but it's always nice to see the benefits you gain out of sharing your breasts.

Are there any other selfish benefits that you could think of? Let me know below! And, please tell me I'm not alone in thinking these points?!

Much love,